Saturday June 28th - Day 2
5:34 AM – Two minutes earlier than yesterday, Kitty wakes us up again. At least she’s mixing things up, this time she’s
jumped up onto the dresser and is pawing at different things and knocking them on the floor. I stand up out of bed and she
immediately jumps down and runs out the door into the hall. Kitty’s learned what it means if I get over there and she’s
still on the dresser. Ass-clown. Again. Fortunately, I quickly get back to sleep and doze off and on until…
6:42 AM – I’m partly awake when Emma gets out of bed and goes downstairs, I quickly return to not-at-all awake.
8:31 AM – I’m alerted to the fact that the wackiness downstairs has begun by the sound of Peter laughing loudly. Decathlon
Tradition #11: Peter making sure everyone gets up in the morning by singing the “good morning” song and otherwise being loud.
Since I’m usually up by now anyway, I enjoy it.
8:50 AM – After starting some coffee and talking to the survivors downstairs, Emma comes back up to the bedroom with two
stories. Apparently everyone is complaining about being cold last night. We turned the air conditioning up a little bit
yesterday since there were going to be a lot of people in the house going in and out a lot, seems we could’ve dialed it back
a little bit before going to bed. Emma tells me about her quick exchange with Matthew. Emma: “We have a bunch of extra
blankets and stuff.” Matthew: “So when Scott asked us last night if we needed anything…” See, I can’t be a good host unless
you help me help you. The second story involves Drag’s clever attempt to warm up by lying outside on the deck. Let’s just
say there’s a reason you don’t see any commercials for the new Sleep Number wood plank bed. I get it, it was too cold, I’ll
turn the air conditioning down tonight.
8:53 AM – As I get out of bed I take stock of the bodily damage from day one. The knuckle on my right index finger is still
a little red but it’s not too bad. My head hurts a little bit too but for the most part I made it through with minimal damage.
While I’m taking a shower I notice that my right arm and neck are a little sore too. Getting old sucks.
9:11 AM – Time for my day two wardrobe decision. After some careful consideration I decide to go with my “i > u” shirt that
I ordered from Despair.com a while back. Hopefully this little piece of subtle intimidation will provide me an edge today or
at least people will think it’s funny which is probably more important anyway.
9:15 AM – I head downstairs to get something to eat, check email and the weather, and also to survey the house conditions.
Everything looks as expected which is good and I spend a few minutes listening to stories from the slumber party. Apparently
they were up until at least 3:30am which makes my use of earplugs a very wise choice.
9:24 AM – Larsen shows up with a couple boxes of Dunkin Donuts. He is my hero and I’m pretty sure everyone in the house shares
that sentiment. A few of us hang out at the dining room table and elsewhere eating donuts and waiting for the day’s festivities
to begin.
9:40 AM – Robbie shows up next and she’s brought a toy this morning, well another toy if you count the watermelon that she
brought yesterday. This toy is one of those gyroscopic hand and wrist exerciser things which she says she can’t get to spin
very well. A couple people give it a try with moderate success but I decide to pass, with a day of foosball and other sports
the last thing I need is MORE exercise for my wrists.
9:43 AM – I check the weather, it’s currently warm and sunny with just a few clouds, hopefully that holds up the whole day.
Saturday is packed with outdoor events so it’s the most weather-critical day of the weekend. That is, until I finish building
the sports dome over my yard in a couple years.
9:48 AM – Peter and I gather for a day two team conference and pep talk. Looking at the score sheet we’re currently in fifth
place but only a few points away from third. Pool was certainly a disappointment yesterday but I got us some solid points in air
hockey and bowling was… well, it was bowling. Next we discuss today’s events and go over our best chances for gaining points, the
team title is still very much up for grabs. Then the conversation takes quite the depressing turn when we exchange updates on
which of our body parts are feeling sore after yesterday. Weren’t we in college just a few years ago? What the hell
happened?
9:53 AM – When a few of us share our enjoyment of Drag’s “Shirts & Skins” team shirt, someone throws out this fantastic
observation: “Enjoy Drag’s shirt while you can, considering the weather it’s not going to last long.” For some reason I wrote
down the quote but didn’t make a note of who said it, which was kind of dumb. There goes my career as a court
reporter.
9:54 AM – Bill arrives at the house, walks into the dining room, and announces that it’s 539 degrees outside already. I really
think he’s exaggerating there, looking out the window I don’t see how it’s even a degree over 300.
9:55 AM – I head out to the garage to set up for the day’s events. Today ping-pong, darts, and foosball continue while bags
gets started. We’ll also get all of the croquet matches in and take a break from that in the afternoon to go play HORSE.
Decathlon Saturday is always a packed schedule. By the way, I was right, Bill was totally lying about the
temperature.
10:00 AM – While I’m setting up in the garage, Rob and Renae walk up the driveway. Renae asks Matthew: “What time did you go
to sleep last night?” Matthew replies: “We’re not sure.”
10:04 AM – A few minutes later, Drag and Tamburo have a discussion with Rob about taking drugs for body soreness. Good gravy,
at this rate my 2012 Decathlon running diary is going to feature a trip to the hospital for an emergency hip replacement
surgery. Canasta, Bingo, and talking about how rough we had it as kids might be events by then.
10:08 AM – I get started on my first match of the day, bags against Robbie. Bags is a funny name for a game.
That’s it.
10:26 AM – I end up winning the match, two games to none. It was a fairly normal bags match I guess, no tackling or body checking
unfortunately. Robbie didn’t hit any of my bags, fortunately. Maybe next time.
10:28 AM – I’ve got no matches waiting so I head into the back yard to watch the first croquet match going on. I don’t care
how dorky this sounds, I love croquet. I even wrote it in my notebook: “I love croquet.”
10:34 AM – Up first in croquet is Paul, Peter, Larsen, and Todd. I come around the corner of the house just in time to see
Paul firing a ball half-way across the yard. It’s generally not a good thing when an observer has no clue what you intended
with your croquet shot, but Paul seems pretty happy with his result so I guess it can’t be too bad. And by “seems pretty
happy” I mean that Paul is smiling and flexing for the crowd.
10:37 AM – I do my best to advise Peter while he’s playing, I’d feel more important if he had a bag of extra croquet mallets
I could carry for him. The teams idea this year has really added a new wrinkle to the competition, I like it.
10:42 AM – The game comes down to the wire with Peter and Todd both moving towards the final post with Paul right behind.
Todd gets his ball in good position in front of the last pair of wickets leaving Peter with one last chance to hit into his
ball for the lead. Peter makes it through a wicket but has a long shot out of some tall grass in order to hit Todd’s ball
for an extra shot. After sizing up the shot, he makes a valiant effort but he just misses Todd’s ball and goes past the
wickets. This lets Todd finish through the last wickets on his next turn, securing a first place finish. It also gives
Paul a chance to catch up and suddenly we have a battle for second place too. As the croquet ball turns…
10:48 AM – After a couple positioning shots by both players, Paul gets his ball right in front of the last wicket and Peter
is in front too but further out. Once again, Peter has one last shot to hit another ball to then be able to make it through
the wickets. He lines this one up and hits away. His ball heads right towards Paul’s ball, starts hopping over the ground
a bit, and then bounces right over Paul’s ball without making contact. It looks like a disaster for Peter for a split second
but his ball keeps going, right through the last two wickets stopping by the post. He giddily walks over, hits his ball into
the post, and celebrates second place. Peter also demands that he gets the red ball again next time, he obviously doesn’t
want to mess with the mojo. Paul hits his ball through for third place and Larsen finishes in fourth.
10:58 AM – I’m excited because my croquet group is up next, me, Fernando, Reuer and Erik. It’s go time.
11:09 AM – This is definitely one of the strangest looking croquet games ever, Fernando and Erik are taking many of their
shots by lying down on their stomachs and using the handle of the mallet like a pool cue. Reuer observes: “At least the
grass will be flat for the rest of the games.”
11:22 AM – Reuer and I are in the lead at the halfway point with Erik and Fernando trailing. Erik is trailing a lot less
after he makes a brilliant long shot to make it through a wicket and gain a bit of ground.
11:30 AM – Looking down the side yard at the bags matches I see Drag is already shirtless. All we need now is a major sunburn
on Drag’s shoulders and back and we have a completed Decathlon Tradition #15: Drag shirtless and sunburned.
11:36 AM – Reuer and I are still in the lead with four wickets left, Erik is trailing by a couple wickets and Fernando is
back at the turn. In a controversial move, Fernando decides to stop going through the course and instead hits his ball hard
over to where Reuer and I are battling it out. He’s threatening to go after Reuer’s ball. This is not going to be
good.
11:44 AM – Fernando messes with Reuer a little bit but we both make it to the final wickets after a couple rounds. I make a
nice shot for position in front of the last wickets but Reuer gets to a shot at my ball and the wickets from a little further
out.
11:47 AM – Reuer hits a beautiful shot and hits my ball, he gets an extra shot to go for the wickets but he’s not lined up very
straight. His next shot makes it through the first wicket but it goes past the second wicket. Now he has to try and come back
and hit my ball again for another shot at the last wicket. Luckily for me, he misses my ball and I’m able to punch through
the last wickets to the post for a glorious first place finish. Reuer finishes easily for second, Erik comes in third, and
obviously Fernando is in last since he abandoned the wickets in favor of harassment. That’s two things at the same time that
I love. Croquet and winning. One thing that Reuer does not love right now: Fernando.
11:54 AM – Feeling pretty good I head inside for some lunch, leftover chicken fried rice from a couple days ago. Yum. As
I’m heating up my rice, Matthew comes in to get a beverage. He proudly states: “I’m 3-0 in matches today, I’m SO good.” See,
everyone loves winning.
11:58 AM – I’m at the dining room table when Bill and Erik get ready for a foosball match. Bill asks loudly: “Where’s my
foosball glove?” Yes, he actually has a foosball glove. It’s actually a batting glove but he specifically keeps it for
foosball. I call him a dork and tell him where I saw it last. Maybe I should get a croquet glove.
12:12 PM – As I’m finishing lunch, Renae tells me I can play Fernando in darts when I’m ready. Fernando’s pretty good in
darts and I’ve been playing like crap lately. I’m not feeling too confident.
12:41 PM – I’m even less confident after I quickly lose two games straight. I had trouble hitting anything consistently and
Fernando played well, that’s not a good formula for success for me. I used to be so much better at darts, my roommate and
darts partner Keith would be disgusted if he could see me now. This is another event that I really need to play more often
and improve. I don’t even need a robot to play against me so I really have no excuse on this one. Perhaps a darts glove is
in order.
12:42 PM – I head to the back yard, time to start the grill for lunch. I already had my fried rice but everyone else has to
eat too, the Decathlon host’s job is never done.
12:44 PM – I fire up the grill and watch a little bit of the third croquet match. It’s an interesting matchup since we have
two sets of partners going against each other: Dan and Matthew in the same group with Rob and Tamburo.
12:48 PM – I’m a winner yet again when Todd offers to person the grill. It’s not good for any points in the standings, but I’ll
gladly give away grilling duties anytime. I go into the house for a beverage and realize that when Larsen asked to use my
computer a little while ago he was apparently searching for the cheat code to unlock all the songs on Wii Guitar Hero. Let’s
just say that I’m really glad Guitar Hero is not an event in the Decathlon, I’d be almost as hopeless in that as I am in
bowling.
12:51 PM – I return to the deck and take a seat at the table where Renae is hanging out watching croquet and Todd grilling.
Discussing the event results, Renae and I both comment on how we think we’re making pretty good time this weekend. Decathlon
Tradition #9: Todd, Renae, and/or I talking on Saturday about how we’re supposedly making really good time this year but
events still run longer on Sunday than we expected. I guess we’re optimists.
12:58 PM – On his way into the house Tamburo walks through the sliding glass door, turns the corner, and steps on Kitty’s dry
food bowl spilling food everywhere. Honestly, I’m surprised it took this long for someone to do that. As Tamburo kneels
down and starts picking the food up, Todd yells at him: “Jim, don’t eat that, I’m making you a burger!”
1:04 PM – As he’s flipping burgers, Todd suddenly announces to the people waiting for food: “If the burgers suck and everyone
gets E. coli, my bad.” Looks like I might have to make a run to Pet Smart for more kitty food.
1:08 PM – I’m standing by Todd as the first burgers come off the grill when he and I share our first round of
self-congratulations on how great the Decathlon is. Me: “We’re fucking brilliant.” Todd: “We are so fucking awesome.” Decathlon
Tradition #1: Todd and I (and everyone else for that matter) talking about how awesome the Decathlon is. Some people are
playing croquet and other events, some are eating, more burgers and dogs are on the grill, and Todd and I are basking in the
genius of it all. It’s true, the Decathlon is awesome.
1:11 PM – Something Todd and I aren’t exactly basking in: Bill is now playing croquet shirtless. Things must be getting
serious out there.
1:21 PM – A group of us are gathered around the deck table eating and talking while another round of burgers is cooking on
the grill. Suddenly I notice that those burgers are “cooking” pretty quietly and I walk over and confirm that the grill has
run out of gas. Good thing I noticed this, otherwise Todd’s threats of food poisoning could’ve come true. It’s time for a
quick trip to Jewel to exchange propane tanks, I take the old tank out of the grill and borrow Todd’s keys since my car is
blocked in.
1:29 PM – After spending several minutes sitting in the driver’s seat of Todd’s car trying unsuccessfully to start the car,
I return to the deck to ask Todd what I’m doing wrong. He is very entertained by this and happily points out that I’m using
the wrong key. In my defense, Todd has several thousand keys on his massive key chain and there are multiple car keys. In
my… offense?? Maybe I should’ve tried using the key that had the same car maker insignia as the car has on it. I’m a
computer engineer, not mechanical.
1:53 PM – I’m back from Jewel, the new propane tank is in the grill, and we’re back in grilling business. This is the second
year this has happened so I’m thinking if we run out of propane one more time during the Decathlon, I might have to make it
a tradition.
1:59 PM – All of the first round croquet matches are complete and it’s time for the first place group: me, Rob, Todd, and a
hopefully shirted Bill.
2:14 PM – We’re at the halfway point and the highlight so far is Rob making a phenomenal turn at the post getting what seemed
to be about sixty extra shots and covering about a third of a mile. Tied for second is the six times Bill has hit his ball
out of turn. He’s excited. Notice I wasn’t mentioned in the highlights there, not good times.
2:35 PM – Sadly, Rob cracks under the pressure at the end of the game and allows Bill to pass him for the victory. Rob still
gets second and Todd finishes third. This is the good thing about making it to the top group in croquet or HORSE, the worst
you can do is fourth place, like I just demonstrated. Simply put, I made a couple poor shots before the halfway point and was
never able to recover. I’ll have to consider that croquet glove idea for next year.
2:40 PM – After a short break, it’s time for a bags match with Bill. I guess I’m decent in bags but I’m pretty inconsistent.
Bill is pretty good in bags and he plays a lot more than I do. This is not a good combination for me.
2:54 PM – Near the end of our bags match we hear a burst of yelling from the garage. Tamburo comes running out shouting,
apparently he’s just won his first ping-pong match ever and now he’s going to take a victory lap around the house. We hear
him yelling around the back yard and he comes running around to the side of the house where Bill and I can see him from the
bags area. He then makes a questionable decision to jump over the fence to put a nice exclamation point on his victory lap.
Unfortunately for him his foot catches the top of one of the fence planks and he goes down in a pile on the grass.
Fortunately for him he pops right back up and keeps running. Bill and I had a perfect view of the doomed hurdle attempt,
it was fantastic.
3:04 PM – Tamburo’s fall ends up being the best part of my bags match and I lose to Bill two straight games, 22-15 and 27-18.
Surprisingly I played rather well and I had a really good chance to win the second game. Not surprisingly I then lost the
ability to hit the board and stopped scoring points. Maybe a bags glove would help my consistency.
3:16 PM – After the bags match I sit down in one of the chairs outside the garage to watch the ongoing matches. Todd and
Dan are in the middle of a ping-pong match, those two playing is always entertaining.
3:18 PM – Rob and Paul start a bags match in the losers bracket and I think about how much better of a spectator sport
ping-pong is than bags. There’s just a wee bit more action in ping-pong. That and I feel a lot more comfortable saying
that I’m going to watch some ping-pong rather than saying I’m going to go watch some bags.
3:26 PM – Todd ends up winning a good match in two games, 21-17 and 21-13. Dan is up in croquet so he heads off to the back
yard and a few of us notice some unfriendly clouds moving in. Not good times.
3:27 PM – I stay in my seat to watch the next ping-pong match, this one between Reuer and Tamburo. I certainly enjoyed
Tamburo’s victory lap after his first match so I don’t want to risk missing a possible encore. Jim’s confidence is through
the roof right now as evidenced by the fact he’s written “#1 Table Tennis Player” on his plastic beverage cup.
3:30 PM – Several of the other spectators and I have a discussion about Tamburo’s earlier glorious victory and resulting
celebration. Someone mentions that Jim didn’t know to stop serving when he got to twenty points and Jim makes a comment while
playing that he’d never been in that situation before. Makes sense. I then hear about how Jim hosed himself down after taking
his victory lap. Makes a little less sense but ok.
3:32 PM – The first game is over quickly, Reuer: 11 and #1 Table Tennis Player: 0. Ouch.
3:34 PM – Tamburo avoids another skunking when he scores in the second game to make it 4-1. He happily celebrates and then
threatens to take another victory lap but decides against it. Soon after that Renae and I are watching the sky when she
channels her best Carl Spackler and says that she doesn’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite a while. Hopefully
no one misses a croquet shot, holds their mallet up in the air, and curses the sky.
3:38 PM – Reuer wins the second game 21-6 to close out the match. A result like that is certainly going to hurt Tamburo’s #1
table tennis ranking.
3:45 PM – While we wait for another ping-pong match to start, we watch Paul win a close second game in bags to eliminate Rob
from the bracket. Someone throws out an “it was a good run, Rob” but that hardly helps Rob’s mood. I can sympathize since I’m
most likely going to lose my next bags match too and join him.
3:47 PM – Up next for our viewing pleasure, Bill and Reuer in ping-pong. I remember what it was like to be in the winners
bracket in ping-pong. I barely remember, since I played Todd in the first round, but still.
3:51 PM – Damn, we have our first rain delay when a light shower starts coming down. A few of us run and bring the bags sets
into the garage and I mention that we need to look into getting a big tent for the yard next year. At the same time, Robbie
and Drag get their darts match started.
3:56 PM – We’re all pleased to see the rain stop after a short drizzle. Game on!
3:58 PM – As we’re taking the bags sets back out to the front yard, Peter, Todd, and I appreciate how the walking paths worn
into the grass makes it easier to position the boxes. Todd: “If you think that’s bad, you should’ve seen the first year when
we had the horseshoes event instead of bags.” I’m fairly certain that my lawn appreciates that we changed that event after
one year.
4:02 PM – Shortly after Reuer finishes beating Bill in ping-pong two games to zero, Renae comes out of the house and informs
us that after checking online she thinks there could be some more rain coming our way. Official Decathlon scorekeeper and
meteorologist, she’s multi-talented.
4:05 PM – Renae’s gutsy prediction comes true as it starts raining again and we bring the bags sets back inside once again.
The weather needs to stop screwing with our tight schedule. I spend some time cleaning up the garage a little bit as Todd
and Reuer begin the final winners bracket ping-pong match. Ping-pong is always a battle with these two, the crowd is
excited.
4:12 PM – During the rain delay, a couple of the bean bags that had developed tears were taken inside for surgical repair.
Emma was nice enough (and skilled enough) to sew them back up. When I looked at this entry in my notebook the first "s" in
“sews” looked sort of like a "j". So I spent about five to ten confusing minutes trying to remember what the hell “Emma
jews bags” was supposed to mean. A couple days of writing in a small notebook with a golf pencil was apparently taking its
toll on my already suspect handwriting skills.
4:15 PM – Todd beats Reuer in two very close games which results in the predictable mood swings for the two competitors.
Their matches are always fun to watch though, good times. Also good times, the rain stops again and the bags sets are
returned to their spots. Game on!
4:16 PM – Dan and I can now get our losers bracket bags match started, I need to rally here for an upset victory. I give
myself a mental pep talk while we warm up.
4:20 PM – The darts match between Drag and Robbie finally ends with Drag winning and Robbie keeps playing with a losers
bracket match against Andrew. I hope she stretched out before this.
4:24 PM – Our bags match doesn’t get very far before being suspended by yet another rain delay. The rain is heavier this
time and is accompanied by some thunder. I write in my notebook: “Crrraaaaappp!”
4:30 PM – We’re still in a rain delay and it looks like it’s going to be a while before we can resume bags. I head inside
for a snack and once the rain lets up I’m out on the deck hanging with Rob. We spend a few minutes bitching about losing
and talking about how we need to practice more. If only we could take a couple months off of work before the Decathlon to
start an intensive training program. Maybe next year.
4:35 PM – I return to the garage to check if we can resume bags but we decide to let the grass dry a little bit more before
we move the bags sets back out. It sucks since I’m anxious to play but at least it prolongs my stay in the bracket. I sit
down in the driveway to watch Larsen and Tamburo play a losers bracket ping-pong match.
4:38 PM – Renae returns to the garage from another online check of the weather: “We’re clear!” I might have to get her an
air horn so she can clearly signal the start and end of weather delays.
4:46 PM – Tamburo is not doing well in ping-pong once again and angrily exclaims: “Why do I even try?!?” I quickly respond:
“Because you’re the #1 Table Tennis Player!” The crowd loves my reply and even Tamburo cracks a smile. It doesn’t help his
game though and Steve wins two games to none.
4:47 PM – Since he’s done with ping-pong, Tamburo heads around the side of the house to get the last croquet match started.
As he’s walking away, I yell out: “Use the gate this time, champ!” to a chorus of laughs. I’m on fire right now.
4:49 PM – As a group of us are sitting and watching darts, I look over where Bill is sitting on a cooler behind Reuer’s chair.
All of a sudden, Bill does a very convincing monkey imitation by picking through Reuer’s hair and pretending that he’s eating
things out of it. At least I think he was pretending, I really couldn’t tell from where I was sitting. Monkeys are
funny.
4:51 PM – After a mere thirty minutes of playing, Andrew finally wins the first game of darts against Robbie. We’re all amused
after Robbie mistakenly thinks that the match is over until someone informs her that was only the first game. It certainly
felt like more than one game. It’s still too wet to resume bags.
5:08 PM – The ad hoc bags committee determines that it’s finally dry enough to resume play. By some miracle Dan and I
actually remember the setup and score of our match. I think I deserve some extra points for that display of memory
function.
5:26 PM – After two close games, I lose painfully to Dan, 25-19 and 22-16. I’m pretty disappointed since I once again played
fairly well and had a chance to win both games. I just couldn’t close the game out and Dan could, so I’m eliminated from
bags. I summarize my feelings with a simple entry in my notebook: “Shit.”
5:30 PM – I go inside for a little bit, we’re waiting for the final croquet match to finish so we can all go over to the
basketball courts for HORSE.
5:52 PM – The last croquet match finishes with Drag edging out Paul for first place in the group and ninth place overall.
Everyone starts bringing everything inside and packing up coolers so we can leave to play HORSE. We make sure we have
enough basketballs, divide up into cars, and leave for the basketball courts. I’m clearly feeling great about my chances
before we even get there when I write in my notebook: “I suck.”
6:02 PM – We’re going to have to play in windy conditions but the courts are in good shape, they’ve had plenty of time to
dry out from the rain earlier today. I’m in a group with Rob, Peter, and Andrew and I shoot after Peter. If I was about
a foot taller with double the vertical leap, this would be so much easier.
6:26 PM – Well I didn’t go out first, which is an accomplishment considering my usual performance in HORSE, so that’s
nice. Actually I shot pretty well and could’ve gone further but I go out in third a few rounds after Andrew. I’m going to
go ahead and blame Rob for my third place finish since if he could’ve made a few more shots and put Peter out I would’ve
been fine. That and my missing shots, that hurt too. I might as well blame Peter too, he could’ve missed a few shots
that he made. And finally, if only Andrew would’ve skied and blocked a few of Peter’s shots, that would’ve really helped
me out. What a bunch of jerks. Anyway, Rob won the group with Peter taking second.
6:39 PM – My second round group is ready to start playing, it’s me, Dan, Matthew, and Todd. Honestly, I was hoping for a
little less talent here in the third place finisher’s group. Apparently the wind has been really messing with people’s
shots, I hear several people complaining about it. This is good for me, anytime you’re in a situation where you have less
skill than most of the other players the more luck that can be introduced into the equation the better it is. I’m thinking
if some hurricane force winds start whipping through here, I might have a chance to really dominate this group.
7:06 PM – Alas, no hurricane winds but I manage to finish in third place again after Todd surprisingly goes out first. It
goes without saying that Todd wasn’t exactly thrilled with his performance. After that, the rest of us all got our S’s and
it was anybody’s game. We went a couple rounds until Dan made a called bank shot, Matthew did too, but I missed it twice to
get eliminated. I think somehow I missed that shot because of something Rob did, damn him. Matthew got knocked out a
couple shots later and Dan won the group. Two third place finishes for me is good for an eleventh place finish overall.
I’m fairly happy I guess, that’s better than I normally do.
7:18 PM – The top two groups finish up with Larsen winning the second group to take fifth place and Reuer putting Bill out to
take first place. Second place in HORSE is very impressive for Bill and that’s another high finish for him after winning
both pool and croquet. Reuer is our leader at this point, but Bill has definitely put himself in position for a run at the
top. We pack up all our stuff, pile into the cars, and head back to the house. I’m hungry.
7:31 PM – Back at the house, foosball, ping-pong, bags, and darts resume. We’ll try to get as far through those four events
as possible tonight so we’re in good shape for tomorrow. Rob and Renae announce that they’re making a Jimmy John’s run and
offer to take orders. They are my heroes right now, this might make up for Rob not dunking the ball a few times during our
HORSE match and putting Peter out before me. I place my sandwich order and get ready for a losers bracket ping-pong match
with Robbie.
7:49 PM – I finish beating Robbie two games to none when Rob and Renae return with my reward: a Jimmy John’s #16 with onions.
Best end to a ping-pong match ever.
8:01 PM – I’m at the dining room table with Emma, Renae, and Rob and we’re all enjoying our Jimmy John’s. We’re also watching
Bill playing Drag in foosball. This has got to be one of the sweatiest foosball games on record, it’s like they’re inside an
invisible sauna over there.
8:12 PM – We get another amusing show, this time Kitty is rolling around on the floor stretching. I think she might be
limbering up before calling next on foosball.
8:14 PM – I’m enjoying my Jimmy John’s as I always do, but these new mystery flavor Doritos kind of suck. They have a pretty
strong lime flavor and I’m not a big fan. They certainly pale in comparison to the last mystery Doritos flavor that tasted
exactly like McDonald’s cheeseburgers. They need to bring those back.
8:19 PM – Emma is needed again for bag repair duty. Go ahead and see how many jokes for that line you can come up with in
sixty seconds.
8:32 PM – After hanging out inside for a while, I head back outside where bags, darts, and ping-pong matches are still going
on. I enjoy yet another moment where it’s just really cool to stand back and watch everything that’s going on. People are
hanging out, eating, and talking. Several matches are going on, people are having fun. The Decathlon is like a big three day
party, with (hopefully) just enough scheduling to keep moving forward. Good times.
8:54 PM – I spend some time visiting with fans and watching a few bags matches. Reuer defeats Bill and then Peter to win the
winners bracket and Fernando beats Steve over in the losers bracket. Good gravy these guys are really good at bags, it’s
pretty impressive to watch. Well, it is if you’re impressed by bags. For the record, I’m resisting throwing in some sort of
genital-related joke every time I mention bags. A couple here and there are fine but even I have my limits when it comes to
hammering jokes into the ground, hard to believe I know.
9:01 PM – Another thing I’m thinking as I’m watching bags, I should totally build my own bags set. We already know Emma is
capable of sewing bean bags and the sets are pretty much just angled wooden boxes. I think Emma and I need to put our
woodworking skills to use on this project. As a bonus, I could paint the set with St. Louis Cardinals or Philadelphia Eagles
colors just to irritate the other decathletes. They’d probably refuse to play with that set or try to set it on fire when I
wasn’t looking. Either way, it’d be worth it.
9:08 PM – I’m back sitting in the driveway, still watching bags and darts matches. As an added bonus, we now have some
exhibition doubles ping-pong going on with Rob and Erik taking on Todd and Renae. Saturday night and Sunday afternoon are
usually great for exhibition matches, an extra treat for the fans. The Decathlon is the gift that keeps on giving.
9:11 PM – Bill and Matthew inform me that they’d like to officially request a Decathlon masseuse. I respond: “I’ll tell
Todd to add it to the food assignment email next year.”
9:19 PM – Drag comes over to ask Renae: “Is it going to be a while until I play darts again? If so, I’m going to start
getting hammered.” It’s nice to have a plan of action.
9:34 PM – I head inside to watch a fantastic foosball match between Dan and Larsen which Dan ends up winning in three
mighty close games 10-9, 9-10, and 10-8. I think Steve got a little disheartened at the end after he scored an own goal
to put Dan at 9 points. You have to hate when that happens. Regardless, I enjoy watching close well-played foosball,
it’s a solid spectator sport. Maybe I should build some elevated bleachers or an upper deck of seating so more people
can gather around and have a clear view of the playing surface.
9:42 PM – After almost two hours of being a spectator, I’m up again in ping-pong with a losers bracket match against my
teammate, Peter. Ping-pong between me and Peter is always interesting since we both excessively prefer to use one side
of the paddle to hit the ball. We both generally stand to one side of the table and try to primarily hit forehand shots.
I guess Peter does it because he doesn’t want to hit backhand shots, I do it because I hold the paddle like a freak and my
hand covers up one side of the paddle making backhand shots impossible. I like to think our “unique” playing styles set
us apart from the rest of the field.
9:53 PM – Peter wins a close first game, 21-17. I need to make an adjustment because he’s killing me on his serves, maybe
I should try not hitting them into the net or off the table. That’s genius right there.
10:10 PM – That brilliant strategic decision pays off big as I come roaring back to win the next two games 21-15 and 21-12.
After the last point, Peter picks up the ball from the table, slams it towards me, and yells: “No team spirit award for me!
GO TEAM!” Now I’m even more relieved that I won, that response blows away anything I could’ve come up with if I would’ve
lost. Go team indeed.
10:18 PM – Up next for me is a foosball match against Reuer. I haven’t played any foosball all day, I’m anxious to get my
foos on.
10:33 PM – I am victorious in two games, both by the score of 10-2. The highlight of the match was Reuer’s response after
he makes an accidental back pass that goes in his own goal: “Just like the Brazilians!” He follows that up a few moments
later with something about Brazilian waxers. I didn’t catch all of it or understand the point, but it was still
fantastic.
10:39 PM – No time for rest since my new foosball nemesis, Erik, is up next. We played a couple legendary matches last year
with Erik coming out of the losers bracket to topple me in a grueling final that put Erik’s wrist in a wrap the next day.
And by that I mean he put a bandage wrap on his wrist, not that he severed his wrist and put it into a BBQ chicken
wrap.
11:15 PM – After losing the first game in a blowout, 10-4, I recover to win the next two games 10-7, 10-7. That was certainly a
clutch performance since I might have cried if I would’ve lost. Plus, it’s obviously important to stay in the winners bracket
as long as possible, it’s huge to cut down the number of matches you have to play. See my comment above about Erik’s wrist as
evidence for that. No one wants part of their body to end up in a tortilla shell.
11:17 PM – The action continues as I immediately get called for a ping-pong match with Steve, hopefully I can continue my late
night winning streak.
11:32 PM – I notch another victory in two games, significantly helped by Steve hitting a lot of shots long. I have games like
that fairly often, it’s very frustrating. Bill is up next for me in ping-pong, he and I have a discussion on if we want to
play now or wait until tomorrow. Bill seems awfully comfortable sitting in the driveway right now so we decide to wait. I’m
feeling pretty confident and part of me wants to keep playing but I’m cool with waiting. This doesn’t stop me from calling
Bill a wuss.
11:38 PM – I borrow the official scorekeeping clipboard from Renae and take a look through the results and standings. Reuer
is in the lead and is still in several events but Bill certainly has a chance to catch him and Paul is always lurking near
the top. Reuer and Bill are both still in darts and bags so obviously their performances tomorrow will be key. I guess I’m
fairly pleased with my standing but it could always be better. If I can finish well in foosball and ping-pong tomorrow I might
be able to move up within striking distance of fourth place.
11:43 PM – Things are starting to wind down for the night, a group of us is sitting in the garage and driveway watching Fernando
vs. Matthew and Erik vs. Andrew in darts. As if we needed more evidence that we’re old, Bill groans loudly as he’s propping his
foot up on his knee. Curses, I knew I should’ve insisted that we play our ping-pong match tonight. Now the best I can hope
for is that Bill has a senior moment tomorrow and forgets the score so I can tell him I already won.
11:47 PM – As we’re watching darts, Prodigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up” comes on the IPod. Dan delights the crowd with his wonderful
Will Ferrell as Harry Caray impersonation, this time dancing a little and singing along. It goes over like a champ.
11:51 PM – Fernando finishes beating Matthew two games to none so one of the dart boards is free. Peter and I have a losers
bracket match to play so we decide to play. Hopefully I can keep my winning streak going and end the night on a good note.
I just hope Peter doesn’t throw a dart at me if I beat him again.
12:06 AM – Peter wins a very close first game and we’re halfway through another close game when Todd, Steve, and Matthew
return from a Taco Bell run. This makes me jealous.
12:28 AM – I pull away in the second game to force a third and deciding game. Hmmmm, my right arm is starting to feel sore.
Maybe one more match tonight wasn’t such a great idea.
12:45 AM – Peter holds on for the victory in a thrilling third game and painfully eliminates me from darts. It was
particularly painful when it came down to the end with both of us shooting at bulls and I had one dart in the double bull
and two darts in the single bull fall out of the board right after they stuck. Two of those happened in the same round.
I can’t think of any vulgarity that fully expresses how I felt at the end of that game so you’ll have to use your imagination.
After the game was over, I spend a few minutes throwing darts rather hard at the board instead of Peter. Go team!
12:51 AM – I realize that firing darts at the board is probably the exact opposite of what my arm needs right now so I
wisely stop that otherwise fun activity. We’re all done with matches for the night, people are just hanging out, talking,
and practicing a little. I’m cleaning up the garage and bringing stuff inside when I overhear an odd conversation that
ends with “How about a wallet that can make breakfast?” I think it’s funnier if I don’t know the rest of that conversation.
The people not spending the night are gradually leaving to go home.
1:04 AM – With the garage cleaned up and closed, I head inside. Super Bad is on the DVD player again, bringing day two to a
close just like yesterday. Unlike yesterday, damn my right arm hurts. I sit down on the floor to watch a little
more of the movie.
1:50 AM – I’m starting to crash so I figure it’s bedtime and head upstairs. I quickly get ready for bed and then fully enjoy
how great of an idea lying down is right now. Bed is good.
2:02 AM – I’m already starting to drift off to sleep since it’s pretty quiet downstairs. Finally, there’s one advantage to
all of us getting older: earlier bedtimes. In a few years we’ll have to expand the Decathlon to four days since we’ll all be
in bed by around 9pm.